As it goes, everything eventually comes to an end. My co-op semester at DNA Arquitectos in Barcelona is over. I have completed my work there, made connections, met friends, learned a lot, and had the experience of a lifetime.
At the moment, and I mean this very moment, I am multi-tasking between writing this post and packing up my apartment here, along with some tears. What can I say? I'm a sensitive guy. But as I pack up my things, my clothes, my mementos, etc, I have to take a break to stop and write down my feeling. It just doesn't feel like it's really ending. It doesn't feel like I'm supposed to be going home but with a feeling like this I know that I'll be back. Back to live in Barcelona again. Someday, some unknown day. But I can swear on it, I'll be back.
It's hard to explain the feeling of leaving somewhere that have called home for so long. Not to say that six months is an eternity, but to come here alone, not knowing anyone, barely speaking the language, the minute you find your cave to dwell in, it instantly becomes home, and the minute it's time to leave the cave and go back to whatever there is to go back to, it's a bit disheartening. But whoever comes to live in this apartment, whoever comes to experience here what I have experienced, they will love this home. And when they leave, it will still be home to me and them and whoever has and will live here. Barcelona will always be home for me.
But with an experience like this, are there supposed to be closing words or actions that really define the end? I think back on my time here. What I have done, who I have met, what I have learned. I have become a new person. I'm still the same Stephen White I was before I came here, but I've grown in ways that are actually unable for me to speak about or even grasp conceptually. My boss, Felipe, told me he thinks I have taken on a wonderful transformation from living in Europe. On my last day of work at DNA we ended the day with some champagne and shared stories about working, the city, life, etc. Felipe told me he thinks I have had one of the biggest transformations of interns in the office. I agreed.
I came from a city further away than any of the interns. I came alone. I was nervous, I was biting my fingernails the entire plane ride over. The first few days living in a hotel were strange. I felt lost and a bit scared. I found a place to live. I met people. I made friends. And I learned to live by myself, to do things for myself, that being on my own is actually a good feeling. I've learned to never give up, I've learned that throwing your whole self into something completely unfamiliar can give you the biggest breath of satisfaction and proudness. I've learned to never say never, to never turn down an opportunity and to always take a chance. I've learned new culture, I've tried new and different food, I've (sort of) learned to balance a check book and be cautious about money. I have grown up, learned more about myself than ever, put a focus on the path in life I'm aiming at, found who I am, gained a sense of self, and become able to find beauty and positivity in just about anything. I've been frustrated here, I've been lonely, I've missed my friends and my family and even school. But I stuck it out and pushed through.
After this experience I feel like I can say, "I can do anything."
Even though I'm leaving 2 weeks early, I know that it's time to go home. It feels like the right time to go home even though I'm sitting on the floor crying as I stare at my empty apartment and packed suitcases. The tears are just relief. I'm going to miss this place a lot.
I'll miss the city, the culture, the food, my friends, working, my yoga studio, the beach being 15 minutes away, clara, Estrella Damm, Sugar Bar, Sub Rosa, Moog, Montjuic, the architecture, Razzmatazz, Oviso, Siddartha, Manchester Bar, the Dog is Hot, Yoga Studio, Penultima, Zelig, AMBAR, Catalunya, Gaudi, Carrer de la Lluna, Barceloneta, Shoko, Opium, festivals, parades every day, DNA, Euros, poopy pants, Shubra II, my balcony, La Rambla, overhaul of tourists crowding the streets, Sonar, bingo at Queen Vic, motorbikes, the guy who sells Gasoline every morning, the fashion, the culture, the exotic parrots and palm trees everywhere, making new friends, everything being smaller, washing machine in the kitchen, laundry hanging outside everyones houses, GP, Don Simon, harira, fetoosh, mixing pot of people from all over the world, speaking spanish, learning polish, catalan, la Boqueria, fresh juice, ice cream, Cathedra of the Sea, tapas, paella, seafood, the amazing coffee, the music, soccer fans, fireworks, the W Hotel, soccer tournaments, only have 3 channels on my TV, the nightlife. Everything will be missed and that list barely sums up "everything".
But, alas and all this said, it's time to go home and I'm more ready than ever to take on what life back at home in DC and back at Northeastern in Boston have in store for me. Watch out USA, Stephen White is back in town!
BARCA BARCA BARCCCAA!!! Barcelona: a 2010 adventure. The time of my life!
a photo of some building artwork around the corner from my house
